Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Wednesday, 9 June 2010
Online dating rules to live by: Its never personal
How to survive digital rejection with your dignity intact
That headline seems ridiculous, right? I mean, what is dating if not extremely, completely, horrendously, desperately personal? How can you go about searching for the one person that makes your heart feel whole without getting at least a little bit personal?
It seems weird, but when it comes to looking for love online, you need to remember that it's not about you -- at least not for awhile. Most of us who've dipped even a toe into the tepid waters of online dating have felt at certain times that maybe we're just not made for computer-based romance. We're not photogenic enough or we just can't write; our icebreakers keep getting rejected and our winks are never returned.
If you happen to be one of the thousands who isn't having success on the dating sites, you should definitely consider tweaking your profile and having a friend take some pictures that show off your good side. But once you've done that, you need to keep in mind that your digital dry spell is probably temporary. Anyone who's tried out one of the many dating sites knows that luck tends to ebb and flow like the member pool. But most importantly, when someone flakes out on you or makes it clear that they don't share your feelings of attraction, you need to not take it personally.
The truth is, you can't possibly know why that girl isn't interested. Maybe you she hates dogs and you have a boxer. Maybe she's intimidated by your intellectual prowess and professional success. Or maybe she just met someone and wants to see where it goes. No matter what, it ultimately has very little to do with you. And while we're all tempted to decide that it's our massive forehead and clown-like ears, the more likely scenario is that she had something else going on ... or she just wasn't your type anyway.
View the Original article
That headline seems ridiculous, right? I mean, what is dating if not extremely, completely, horrendously, desperately personal? How can you go about searching for the one person that makes your heart feel whole without getting at least a little bit personal?
It seems weird, but when it comes to looking for love online, you need to remember that it's not about you -- at least not for awhile. Most of us who've dipped even a toe into the tepid waters of online dating have felt at certain times that maybe we're just not made for computer-based romance. We're not photogenic enough or we just can't write; our icebreakers keep getting rejected and our winks are never returned.
If you happen to be one of the thousands who isn't having success on the dating sites, you should definitely consider tweaking your profile and having a friend take some pictures that show off your good side. But once you've done that, you need to keep in mind that your digital dry spell is probably temporary. Anyone who's tried out one of the many dating sites knows that luck tends to ebb and flow like the member pool. But most importantly, when someone flakes out on you or makes it clear that they don't share your feelings of attraction, you need to not take it personally.
The truth is, you can't possibly know why that girl isn't interested. Maybe you she hates dogs and you have a boxer. Maybe she's intimidated by your intellectual prowess and professional success. Or maybe she just met someone and wants to see where it goes. No matter what, it ultimately has very little to do with you. And while we're all tempted to decide that it's our massive forehead and clown-like ears, the more likely scenario is that she had something else going on ... or she just wasn't your type anyway.
View the Original article
Tuesday, 27 April 2010
Rule #2 - Do not sit in the corner and sulk. It draws attention in a negative way
Draw attention to yourself, but on your own terms.
I partly agree with this rule. In real life, sitting in the corner won’t draw attention to you. In fact, women are just going to ignore you since there’re so many other guys and things that are interesting to them in the room. You can’t just sit there and expect women to come hit on you. You have to go socialize with them yourself.
Smart Dating Rule: Approach women. Don’t expect them to approach you.
I partly agree with this rule. In real life, sitting in the corner won’t draw attention to you. In fact, women are just going to ignore you since there’re so many other guys and things that are interesting to them in the room. You can’t just sit there and expect women to come hit on you. You have to go socialize with them yourself.
Smart Dating Rule: Approach women. Don’t expect them to approach you.
35 Smart Dating Rules Revealed
Rule #1 - Never let a girl get between you and a fellow Crasher.
I think we can change the words from “fellow Crasher” to “friend.” As I always say, “women come, women go, but best friends are for life.” You should never let a woman come between you and a buddy. Of course, it works both ways. Just like you should never hit on your friends’ girls, your friends should also understand that your girlfriend or crush is yours. If they constantly try to hit on your crush instead of helping you get her, then you really need better friends.
Smart Dating Rule: Women come, women go, but best friends are for life.
I think we can change the words from “fellow Crasher” to “friend.” As I always say, “women come, women go, but best friends are for life.” You should never let a woman come between you and a buddy. Of course, it works both ways. Just like you should never hit on your friends’ girls, your friends should also understand that your girlfriend or crush is yours. If they constantly try to hit on your crush instead of helping you get her, then you really need better friends.
Smart Dating Rule: Women come, women go, but best friends are for life.
Monday, 1 March 2010
Rules For Dating and Attracting
Relax, it's just a date.
But in reality, we're just as nervous as you are after finding out that she finally agreed to go out with you on a Saturday night. First dates are so exciting that it sends shivers down our spines - making us panic about what to wear, what to say, where to take her and which part of our body we should kick ourselves in case the date turns out really disastrous.
The jitters will be there but let's face it; this is an opportunity to give her a night she'll never forget. So muster all the courage you have because here are a couple of things you must remember to have her aching for a second date.
Impress but not too much - Dating is like a business meeting where you advertise yourself to her. It's ok to put your best foot forward but remember that selling yourself is different from selling life insurance. Share things about yourself but always try to know more about her. Women like it when men ask about themselves so keep asking her questions. Chicks dig it when you show interest in them.
Hold the good stuff - A woman appreciates it when you tell her how gorgeous she looks but don't spend the night spoiling her with your sweet gestures. She likes nice guys but being too nice is always a big turnoff. You remember the old adage that goes "Nice guys finish last," right?
Listen to what she says - Give her a generous amount of time to talk and make sure that you listen. If your thoughts drift away that you ask her the question she just answered, you'll just tick her off for sure. Just maintain interest in what she says and she'll gladly listen when it's your turn to speak up.
It's in the eyes - For experts, eye-contact enables you to connect personally with another person. So when you talk to her, stare at those eyes as much as you can. Eye contact connotes a lot of things: trust, confidence, respect and so much more.
End on a high note - According to studies, people usually remember a certain incident in their lives through the way they felt at the end. What better way to make end your date but in a warm manner she'll always remember?
Here's how to do it. Don't just say goodbye and buzz her on the cheek. Tell her how much you enjoyed the night like "I had a really awesome time, Katy (do mention her name!). It was great to meet you." End the night with the same enthusiasm you had when you started and she might just hug you tighter when she bids you goodbye.
For more tips on how to impress women not just on dates, and how to get women, visit http://www.sinnsofattraction.com for free tutorial videos.
But in reality, we're just as nervous as you are after finding out that she finally agreed to go out with you on a Saturday night. First dates are so exciting that it sends shivers down our spines - making us panic about what to wear, what to say, where to take her and which part of our body we should kick ourselves in case the date turns out really disastrous.
The jitters will be there but let's face it; this is an opportunity to give her a night she'll never forget. So muster all the courage you have because here are a couple of things you must remember to have her aching for a second date.
Impress but not too much - Dating is like a business meeting where you advertise yourself to her. It's ok to put your best foot forward but remember that selling yourself is different from selling life insurance. Share things about yourself but always try to know more about her. Women like it when men ask about themselves so keep asking her questions. Chicks dig it when you show interest in them.
Hold the good stuff - A woman appreciates it when you tell her how gorgeous she looks but don't spend the night spoiling her with your sweet gestures. She likes nice guys but being too nice is always a big turnoff. You remember the old adage that goes "Nice guys finish last," right?
Listen to what she says - Give her a generous amount of time to talk and make sure that you listen. If your thoughts drift away that you ask her the question she just answered, you'll just tick her off for sure. Just maintain interest in what she says and she'll gladly listen when it's your turn to speak up.
It's in the eyes - For experts, eye-contact enables you to connect personally with another person. So when you talk to her, stare at those eyes as much as you can. Eye contact connotes a lot of things: trust, confidence, respect and so much more.
End on a high note - According to studies, people usually remember a certain incident in their lives through the way they felt at the end. What better way to make end your date but in a warm manner she'll always remember?
Here's how to do it. Don't just say goodbye and buzz her on the cheek. Tell her how much you enjoyed the night like "I had a really awesome time, Katy (do mention her name!). It was great to meet you." End the night with the same enthusiasm you had when you started and she might just hug you tighter when she bids you goodbye.
For more tips on how to impress women not just on dates, and how to get women, visit http://www.sinnsofattraction.com for free tutorial videos.
Dating Tips For Men - Attracting Beautiful Women Without Effort
Most guys can find themselves falling in love with the idea of being able to attract beautiful women without much or any effort at all. Yet, you and I both know that this is more a fantasy than anything else. When you want to attract beautiful women, the truth is, you are going to have to put forth some effort. They key is to learn exactly where you will get your best rewards for the efforts that you DO put in. More men make the mistake of putting all of their efforts with women into doing the WRONG things to try and win her over.
Here are some dating tips for men that you NEED to consider if you want to start attracting beautiful women with minimal efforts:
1. You have to work on YOU first. Most guys want to just read a book or watch a video and hope that some magical answer will somehow be revealed to them. Wouldn't that be nice? One of the things that you HAVE to do as a man is to work on yourself. Get YOUR life to where you want it to be. This will give you the sense of natural confidence and security, which are both very attractive qualities to a woman. You have to be able to have the right mindset to start attracting beautiful women and it DOES start with YOU!
2. You must be able to demonstrate your alpha male traits through your body language. Now, I know that most men have a bit of weariness when they think about learning how to use body language to attract a woman. It sounds so complicated and makes you think that you will have to study for months before you will see any real results. This is NOT true. Some simple and basic understanding of how to use body language to attract a woman can easily produce amazing results. You will be able to attract beautiful women, as they are almost DRAWN to YOU.
3. You MUST be able to talk to a woman in a way that makes her feel attracted from the get go. If you feel as though you do not have the conversational skills to attract a woman, then you will want to get some practice. Go out and pick a woman at random and just start a conversation with her. She doesn't have to that hot when you first start out. The whole point is to gain confidence when you are around women and learn how to talk to women in a way that makes them feel attraction for YOU.
4. Flirting with a woman has to seem like it just FLOWS. When flirting with a woman, it should never seem like a hassle or a chore. You shouldn't feel dread at the thought of flirting with a woman. The more experience that you gain in this department or area, you will be able to see that not only is it enjoyable, it's also one of the best and easiest ways to start attracting beautiful women without much effort. A beautiful woman will naturally respond to a man that can flirt with her in a way that makes her FEEL something wonderful.
5. You have to be able to handle rejection from a woman. Let's face it, you are going to get the cold shoulder from a woman from time to time. It's just the way that it goes. Some guys when they get rejected from a woman, become hung up on her. And they waste all of their time trying to go after the one woman that does NOT want to be with them. Talk about wasting your efforts. You have to be able to move on with the breeze and approach the next woman.
6. You must have the RIGHT appearance. Now, you don't have to go out to the mall and spend all of your money on the trendiest clothes and an overpriced haircut. The thing is, you just want to appear like you are clean and put together. Most women are not that into being with a guy that seems like a slob of sorts. So, don't give off that impression. Just keep your appearance looking neat and make sure that you SMELL good. Pick up some good cologne and this should do the trick.
7. Don't start comparing yourself to other guys. This can damage your elf esteem really quickly. If you start to see improvements in your personal life, just focus on this. Don't allow yourself to down play your success with women by comparing yourself to other men. You just want to make sure that YOUR experiences with women are what you want them to be, or at least that they are on track.
Trying to master this area of your life, and start attracting beautiful women without much effort can seem like a tall task at first. When you break things down and learn what really works to attract a woman, you can see that there are certain things that you can do that will spark attraction with a woman almost instantly.
This will help to make you turn into the kind of man that can attract beautiful women without a whole lot of efforts. It doesn't have to be just a dream or a fantasy for YOU. Any man can learn how to develop the kind of alpha male traits that attract beautiful women with ease. You have to ask yourself, are you ready to start now?
How badly do YOU want to start attracting beautiful women?
Get Your FREE Report that Details the 7 Most Important Concepts You Have to Know to Attract and Seduce Women. Learn how to get the girl and get Dating Tips For Men
Here are some dating tips for men that you NEED to consider if you want to start attracting beautiful women with minimal efforts:
1. You have to work on YOU first. Most guys want to just read a book or watch a video and hope that some magical answer will somehow be revealed to them. Wouldn't that be nice? One of the things that you HAVE to do as a man is to work on yourself. Get YOUR life to where you want it to be. This will give you the sense of natural confidence and security, which are both very attractive qualities to a woman. You have to be able to have the right mindset to start attracting beautiful women and it DOES start with YOU!
2. You must be able to demonstrate your alpha male traits through your body language. Now, I know that most men have a bit of weariness when they think about learning how to use body language to attract a woman. It sounds so complicated and makes you think that you will have to study for months before you will see any real results. This is NOT true. Some simple and basic understanding of how to use body language to attract a woman can easily produce amazing results. You will be able to attract beautiful women, as they are almost DRAWN to YOU.
3. You MUST be able to talk to a woman in a way that makes her feel attracted from the get go. If you feel as though you do not have the conversational skills to attract a woman, then you will want to get some practice. Go out and pick a woman at random and just start a conversation with her. She doesn't have to that hot when you first start out. The whole point is to gain confidence when you are around women and learn how to talk to women in a way that makes them feel attraction for YOU.
4. Flirting with a woman has to seem like it just FLOWS. When flirting with a woman, it should never seem like a hassle or a chore. You shouldn't feel dread at the thought of flirting with a woman. The more experience that you gain in this department or area, you will be able to see that not only is it enjoyable, it's also one of the best and easiest ways to start attracting beautiful women without much effort. A beautiful woman will naturally respond to a man that can flirt with her in a way that makes her FEEL something wonderful.
5. You have to be able to handle rejection from a woman. Let's face it, you are going to get the cold shoulder from a woman from time to time. It's just the way that it goes. Some guys when they get rejected from a woman, become hung up on her. And they waste all of their time trying to go after the one woman that does NOT want to be with them. Talk about wasting your efforts. You have to be able to move on with the breeze and approach the next woman.
6. You must have the RIGHT appearance. Now, you don't have to go out to the mall and spend all of your money on the trendiest clothes and an overpriced haircut. The thing is, you just want to appear like you are clean and put together. Most women are not that into being with a guy that seems like a slob of sorts. So, don't give off that impression. Just keep your appearance looking neat and make sure that you SMELL good. Pick up some good cologne and this should do the trick.
7. Don't start comparing yourself to other guys. This can damage your elf esteem really quickly. If you start to see improvements in your personal life, just focus on this. Don't allow yourself to down play your success with women by comparing yourself to other men. You just want to make sure that YOUR experiences with women are what you want them to be, or at least that they are on track.
Trying to master this area of your life, and start attracting beautiful women without much effort can seem like a tall task at first. When you break things down and learn what really works to attract a woman, you can see that there are certain things that you can do that will spark attraction with a woman almost instantly.
This will help to make you turn into the kind of man that can attract beautiful women without a whole lot of efforts. It doesn't have to be just a dream or a fantasy for YOU. Any man can learn how to develop the kind of alpha male traits that attract beautiful women with ease. You have to ask yourself, are you ready to start now?
How badly do YOU want to start attracting beautiful women?
Get Your FREE Report that Details the 7 Most Important Concepts You Have to Know to Attract and Seduce Women. Learn how to get the girl and get Dating Tips For Men
Thursday, 25 February 2010
What If Your Partner Is Only Attracted To Jerks
Do you know partners who seem to be "only" attracted to jerks? (Come on now, I am sure everybody knows at least a couple.)
Today I have a piece of golden advice for dating such partner:
Don't do it!
If a one-night stand or a short-term relationship is all that you're looking for, well, I'm not going to stop you. (Still, I want you to be VERY careful!)
But if you're looking to start a long-term relationship with a partner who has a long history of dating jerks or the "abusive type", then I urge you to rethink.
Because the fact that he/she's been attracted to these guys/ladies is a sign that he/she may have deeper problems than you think.
It is perfectly normal for a man/woman to be attracted to a man who acts like a challenge.
It is also quite normal for a man/woman to feel attraction for a jerk.
But a man/woman who keeps going back to dating jerks...well...let's just say that that is NOT normal.
It shows the man/woman LIKES being mistreated because of some deeper psychological issues. (Usually it's because of low self-esteem, but there are other reasons as well.)
Dating a man/woman like this is like holding a time bomb in your hands - you never know when he/she's going to blow up.
If you're dating such a man/woman, feel free to send me an email and I'll yell at you.
As a "Smart Dater", there's absolutely no reason for you to tolerate these "baggage women/men".
Date men/women who are not good "to" you, but good FOR you instead!
Today I have a piece of golden advice for dating such partner:
Don't do it!
If a one-night stand or a short-term relationship is all that you're looking for, well, I'm not going to stop you. (Still, I want you to be VERY careful!)
But if you're looking to start a long-term relationship with a partner who has a long history of dating jerks or the "abusive type", then I urge you to rethink.
Because the fact that he/she's been attracted to these guys/ladies is a sign that he/she may have deeper problems than you think.
It is perfectly normal for a man/woman to be attracted to a man who acts like a challenge.
It is also quite normal for a man/woman to feel attraction for a jerk.
But a man/woman who keeps going back to dating jerks...well...let's just say that that is NOT normal.
It shows the man/woman LIKES being mistreated because of some deeper psychological issues. (Usually it's because of low self-esteem, but there are other reasons as well.)
Dating a man/woman like this is like holding a time bomb in your hands - you never know when he/she's going to blow up.
If you're dating such a man/woman, feel free to send me an email and I'll yell at you.
As a "Smart Dater", there's absolutely no reason for you to tolerate these "baggage women/men".
Date men/women who are not good "to" you, but good FOR you instead!
Monday, 22 February 2010
What If You Suspect Your Partner Is After Your Money?
Today's tip is going to be very short.
A question that I get from my readers *all the time* is, "What if you suspect your partner is after my money?"
The answer is very simple with this one:
DO A TEST!
Cut back the amount of money you spend on him/her. Don't buy anything for him/her. Don't take him/her out to expensive dinners. Cut out on your "quality of life" with him/her while maintaining the same kind of attention you have given him/her in the past.
Then watch her VERY closely to see how she reacts.
Does his/her attraction seem to drop? Or does she still enjoying being with you?
If he/she's still happy with you, then it shows you did NOT need to pamper him/her with materialistic things to attract him/her to begin with. (You've wasted all that money, buddy!) Good. Keep it that way and use your HEART instead of your wallet to attract him/her from now on.
But if he/she's dissatisfied or seems to whine about money a lot, then it's a sign he/she could be a gold digger.
In that case, keep dating him/her WITHOUT spending another dime on him/her. If he/she stays, all right. Good for him/her.
But if he/she wants to leave you, then let him/her leave. Gold diggers are really not worth it!
A question that I get from my readers *all the time* is, "What if you suspect your partner is after my money?"
The answer is very simple with this one:
DO A TEST!
Cut back the amount of money you spend on him/her. Don't buy anything for him/her. Don't take him/her out to expensive dinners. Cut out on your "quality of life" with him/her while maintaining the same kind of attention you have given him/her in the past.
Then watch her VERY closely to see how she reacts.
Does his/her attraction seem to drop? Or does she still enjoying being with you?
If he/she's still happy with you, then it shows you did NOT need to pamper him/her with materialistic things to attract him/her to begin with. (You've wasted all that money, buddy!) Good. Keep it that way and use your HEART instead of your wallet to attract him/her from now on.
But if he/she's dissatisfied or seems to whine about money a lot, then it's a sign he/she could be a gold digger.
In that case, keep dating him/her WITHOUT spending another dime on him/her. If he/she stays, all right. Good for him/her.
But if he/she wants to leave you, then let him/her leave. Gold diggers are really not worth it!
When You Will Finally Get Over Your Ex-Partner
Here's my answer:
"When you finally fall in love with someone you're even more attracted to than your ex."
Of course, this may not happen right away. In fact, it may take a long while. But according to my years of experience as a dating coach, in most cases it will eventually happen. There'll almost always be someone who you'll end up liking more than your ex. Almost always.
But here's the catch: you won't find that special someone if you keep on sitting at home and whining over your ex. I know it's hard, but you just have to:
1) Get out there and work on your social life again.
2) Meet new people.
3) Flirt with and see other girls/men casually.
It's true that you may not find a new partner that you'll like as much as you liked your ex right away, but at least you'll be on your way!
"When you finally fall in love with someone you're even more attracted to than your ex."
Of course, this may not happen right away. In fact, it may take a long while. But according to my years of experience as a dating coach, in most cases it will eventually happen. There'll almost always be someone who you'll end up liking more than your ex. Almost always.
But here's the catch: you won't find that special someone if you keep on sitting at home and whining over your ex. I know it's hard, but you just have to:
1) Get out there and work on your social life again.
2) Meet new people.
3) Flirt with and see other girls/men casually.
It's true that you may not find a new partner that you'll like as much as you liked your ex right away, but at least you'll be on your way!
Friday, 19 February 2010
Should You Buy Your Partner Gifts?
There are some dating coaches out there who think that you should "never" buy your partner gifts. But personally, I don't agree with them. I think you can give your partner a gift. IF you don't overdo it AND if you're NOT trying to impress him/her or get anything in return.
For example, if you're walking down the street and you happen to see a little cute thingy at the dollar store that you know he/she would love, go ahead and get it. It won't hurt.
What WILL hurt you, however, is if you try to raise your partner's attraction BY giving him/her gifts. He/She may think you're "nice" in the short-run, but in the long-run it won't help you attract at him/her. In fact, he/she may drop his/her attraction for you if he/she sees you as needy.
Lesson of the day: Don't worry about giving your partner gifts if they are inexpensive and you are not doing it to please or impress him/her. But if you're trying to attract your partner by giving him/her gifts, you're going in the wrong direction.
Save your money and buy my "Ingredient To A Healthy, Happy And Long Lasting Love Relationship"
For example, if you're walking down the street and you happen to see a little cute thingy at the dollar store that you know he/she would love, go ahead and get it. It won't hurt.
What WILL hurt you, however, is if you try to raise your partner's attraction BY giving him/her gifts. He/She may think you're "nice" in the short-run, but in the long-run it won't help you attract at him/her. In fact, he/she may drop his/her attraction for you if he/she sees you as needy.
Lesson of the day: Don't worry about giving your partner gifts if they are inexpensive and you are not doing it to please or impress him/her. But if you're trying to attract your partner by giving him/her gifts, you're going in the wrong direction.
Save your money and buy my "Ingredient To A Healthy, Happy And Long Lasting Love Relationship"
Monday, 18 January 2010
How to Attract Women: How to Impress Women
Renee Grant-Williams, a celebrity vocal coach, says, "The people we deal with in life come to know us by the three ways in which we present ourselves: (a) how we look; (b) what we say; and (c) how we say it." Obviously, this applies just as much to women as it does to men. If not more.
So if you want to impress women, you're gonna have to carefully think about how you present yourself. Let's look at each category.
A. How We Look
Whether you like it or not, dress is crucial. It says a lot about you: whether you care about how you look, or you don't. But you don't have to dress like a Hollywood celebrity to look good.
Here are some tips on how to dress for success:
1. Get a female friend or sister to help you pick your clothes.
If you don't know what to wear, get someone who does know! Ask a female friend or acquaintance to go shopping with you. She's sure to be flattered, and if you reward her with a gift certificate or DVD, she'll be all the more motivated to help you out.
2. Check out the latest styles.
Go to the bar or club and see what others are wearing. Observe what the guys who do well with women wear. Look in magazines and catalogs and see what it's in style.
3. Wear what conforms to your identity.
Hey, if you're the hardworking, businessman type, wear formal clothes that accent your career. If you're the snowboarder/skater type, wear grungy clothes that accent your loose, laid-back persona. And if you're really into music, don't be afraid to express yourself with the types of clothes that rock stars and musicians like to wear! You can't force a style upon yourself; clothes are a form of marketing, so market yourself like you would a product, in the way that best shows what you're all about.
The same goes for your hair: If you want to convey a clean-cut, crisp image, then you might want to shave and cut your hair short. But if you're trying to convey a rebel image, a goatee, long hair, and tattoos are probably in order.
And speaking of tattoos, don't forget that they are an ACCESSORY that further helps you to market yourself. Tats, jewelry, and even hats are great ways to mold your image to the man you want to present to women. If you're a snowboarder, for example, a wool hat says "Cool". Or if you're an aspiring rapper or musician, a doo rag has a place in your wardrobe. Consider the accessories that best conform to you as a person.
B. What We Say
Here are some great topics to talk about:
* Your dreams.
Let a girl know that you have a purpose and direction in your life, that you're not a wandering bum!
* Funny stories.
Humor is a great aphrodisiac. Think about some funny things that have happened in your life. But make sure your delivery is good--more below.
* Her.
The Dalai Lama said, “Sometimes one creates a dynamic impression by saying something, and sometimes one creates as significant an impression by remaining silent.” Don't be afraid to let a girl speak for a while. Be silent, but be interested. Actively listen to what she says. It'll go a long way towards upping the attraction meter!
* Teasing/Playing around.
This is a great technique, especially if you don't know exactly what to talk about. Throw in an occasional joke or funny moment. I have a friend who has a great technique for handling silence. He laughs to himself, prompting the girl to ask, "What?" He'd say in a sly way that would invite curiosity, "Nah, you don't want to know. I'm in deep thought." She'd respond, "Tell me! Tell me!" So he'd do the whole Meow Mix song ("Meow meow meow meow..."). It's just one of many great ways to lighten the moment, and show you're a relaxed, none-too-serious person.
* Last but not least, sex.
One relationship guru brilliantly says, “TALKING about sex is the first step towards having it.” Ask her if she’s a bad girl, or what’s the craziest thing she’s ever done in her life—with a bit of innuendo added into your voice. This isn't the kind of stuff you want to talk about right away, but when things are going good, it's great to show your "inner bad boy". She’ll know what you mean, and get excited thinking about it.
Likewise, here are some topics that you SHOULD NOT talk about:
- Offensive humor. Chris Rock's racial humor may be entertaining, but it's not a good topic for a first date!
- Politics. There's nothing to be gained by arguing over issues and parties.
- Past girlfriends. An absolute no-no. All you do is play a game that makes one of you jealous or suspicious of the other. Stay away from this topic, but if she DOES ask you about past girlfriends, talk respectfully about them so you don't come off as an insecure whiner.
- Inside jokes between you and your friends. They're called inside jokes for a reason--keep them that way!
- Anything that could be interpreted as geeky or dorky, such as science-fiction. Unless you know for a fact that she's into science fiction and comic books, keep it to yourself for now. The last thing you want to come across as is a geek!
- Too much about yourself, your possessions, how great you are, etc. Bragging only makes you look insecure. Even if you own a yacht, don't talk about it like it makes you any more special than her.
C. How We Say It
Of course, none of these topics, particularly funny stories, are gonna work if you don't know to deliver them. Delivery in speech is crucial. People who have good delivery can make an otherwise dull story an exciting one. I highly suggest you read "Voice Power" by the aforementioned Renee grant Williams. Here are some tips she recommends:
1. Use consonants.
That is, accent your speech. If you're talking about a great concert you went to, no one will believe it's that great if you say in a monotone voice, "That was a great concert." That puts people to sleep. Instead, say, "Man, that was a grrrreat concert!" The Tony the Tiger voice. If she says something, don't say as if you're bored, "Really." Say, "Rrrreally?", then, with emphasis, "WOW." It works!
2. Don't use unnecessary words and details.
If you're talking about a time when you and your friends went to Cancun, don't bother with the unnecessary details like the food they served on the plane, the wait for the taxi, or the sheets they used in the hotel. Get to the point!
3. Silence.
As Williams says, Silence does speak a thousand words. There's nothing better than the "power pause", especially when trying to captivate your listeners with a story of bravery. You can lead up to something powerful, then pause while the girl takes it in and after a few seconds of silence, say, "But that's not all..." Or
4. Drama and comedy.
Don't be afraid to sprinkle some dramatic and comedic flair into your speech. If you're talking about a goofy incident with your buddy, laugh along with it. When you laugh, it's a cue for other people to laugh. Chris Rock does this all the time; he laughs at his own scripts, and it has the power of making his routine all the funnier. Likewise, if you're telling a dramatic story of something amazing like rescuing people from a car accident, talk with conviction and suspense. It really goes a long way towards spellbinding women; they love a great story, especially a heroic one.
5. Use body language.
It's not enough to talk with your arms beside your side and your butt on your seat. Talk with your arms, with your hands, your body language creating a sense of excitement. It's a fact: enthusiasm is contagious. So show some enthusiasm with your vocal and body languages!
Finally, change your pitch. If things are going well, lower your pitch, give her your best Barry White. If you're talking about a funny moment, a louder, more excited pitch is probably best. Recognize the mood and alter your voice to conform to it.
Congratulations! You're on your way to making great impressions on great women. Recognize the power of speech and appearance, and you're bound to succeed.
Don't forget, if you want to learn more about making yourself unforgettable to women by making unforgettable impressions, visit my website at "How to Be Irresistible to Women."
http://www.000relationships.com/towomen
Now it's YOUR turn!
James
Author of "How to Be Irresistible to Women"
http://www.000relationships.com/towomen
********************************************************************
About the author:
James is the author of the latest edition of "How to Be Irresistible to Women PREMIUM."His years of dating experience and international travel have tutored him in the art of meeting and seducing females the world over and introduces a worldly approach to dating and developing real relationships necessary for the modern man.
The "How to Be Irresistible to Women" package offers single men a dynamic and comprehensive tool-kit to attract women and establish an honest and supportive relationship. You can learn more about how to attract the woman of your dreams at:
http://www.000relationships.com/towomen
So if you want to impress women, you're gonna have to carefully think about how you present yourself. Let's look at each category.
A. How We Look
Whether you like it or not, dress is crucial. It says a lot about you: whether you care about how you look, or you don't. But you don't have to dress like a Hollywood celebrity to look good.
Here are some tips on how to dress for success:
1. Get a female friend or sister to help you pick your clothes.
If you don't know what to wear, get someone who does know! Ask a female friend or acquaintance to go shopping with you. She's sure to be flattered, and if you reward her with a gift certificate or DVD, she'll be all the more motivated to help you out.
2. Check out the latest styles.
Go to the bar or club and see what others are wearing. Observe what the guys who do well with women wear. Look in magazines and catalogs and see what it's in style.
3. Wear what conforms to your identity.
Hey, if you're the hardworking, businessman type, wear formal clothes that accent your career. If you're the snowboarder/skater type, wear grungy clothes that accent your loose, laid-back persona. And if you're really into music, don't be afraid to express yourself with the types of clothes that rock stars and musicians like to wear! You can't force a style upon yourself; clothes are a form of marketing, so market yourself like you would a product, in the way that best shows what you're all about.
The same goes for your hair: If you want to convey a clean-cut, crisp image, then you might want to shave and cut your hair short. But if you're trying to convey a rebel image, a goatee, long hair, and tattoos are probably in order.
And speaking of tattoos, don't forget that they are an ACCESSORY that further helps you to market yourself. Tats, jewelry, and even hats are great ways to mold your image to the man you want to present to women. If you're a snowboarder, for example, a wool hat says "Cool". Or if you're an aspiring rapper or musician, a doo rag has a place in your wardrobe. Consider the accessories that best conform to you as a person.
B. What We Say
Here are some great topics to talk about:
* Your dreams.
Let a girl know that you have a purpose and direction in your life, that you're not a wandering bum!
* Funny stories.
Humor is a great aphrodisiac. Think about some funny things that have happened in your life. But make sure your delivery is good--more below.
* Her.
The Dalai Lama said, “Sometimes one creates a dynamic impression by saying something, and sometimes one creates as significant an impression by remaining silent.” Don't be afraid to let a girl speak for a while. Be silent, but be interested. Actively listen to what she says. It'll go a long way towards upping the attraction meter!
* Teasing/Playing around.
This is a great technique, especially if you don't know exactly what to talk about. Throw in an occasional joke or funny moment. I have a friend who has a great technique for handling silence. He laughs to himself, prompting the girl to ask, "What?" He'd say in a sly way that would invite curiosity, "Nah, you don't want to know. I'm in deep thought." She'd respond, "Tell me! Tell me!" So he'd do the whole Meow Mix song ("Meow meow meow meow..."). It's just one of many great ways to lighten the moment, and show you're a relaxed, none-too-serious person.
* Last but not least, sex.
One relationship guru brilliantly says, “TALKING about sex is the first step towards having it.” Ask her if she’s a bad girl, or what’s the craziest thing she’s ever done in her life—with a bit of innuendo added into your voice. This isn't the kind of stuff you want to talk about right away, but when things are going good, it's great to show your "inner bad boy". She’ll know what you mean, and get excited thinking about it.
Likewise, here are some topics that you SHOULD NOT talk about:
- Offensive humor. Chris Rock's racial humor may be entertaining, but it's not a good topic for a first date!
- Politics. There's nothing to be gained by arguing over issues and parties.
- Past girlfriends. An absolute no-no. All you do is play a game that makes one of you jealous or suspicious of the other. Stay away from this topic, but if she DOES ask you about past girlfriends, talk respectfully about them so you don't come off as an insecure whiner.
- Inside jokes between you and your friends. They're called inside jokes for a reason--keep them that way!
- Anything that could be interpreted as geeky or dorky, such as science-fiction. Unless you know for a fact that she's into science fiction and comic books, keep it to yourself for now. The last thing you want to come across as is a geek!
- Too much about yourself, your possessions, how great you are, etc. Bragging only makes you look insecure. Even if you own a yacht, don't talk about it like it makes you any more special than her.
C. How We Say It
Of course, none of these topics, particularly funny stories, are gonna work if you don't know to deliver them. Delivery in speech is crucial. People who have good delivery can make an otherwise dull story an exciting one. I highly suggest you read "Voice Power" by the aforementioned Renee grant Williams. Here are some tips she recommends:
1. Use consonants.
That is, accent your speech. If you're talking about a great concert you went to, no one will believe it's that great if you say in a monotone voice, "That was a great concert." That puts people to sleep. Instead, say, "Man, that was a grrrreat concert!" The Tony the Tiger voice. If she says something, don't say as if you're bored, "Really." Say, "Rrrreally?", then, with emphasis, "WOW." It works!
2. Don't use unnecessary words and details.
If you're talking about a time when you and your friends went to Cancun, don't bother with the unnecessary details like the food they served on the plane, the wait for the taxi, or the sheets they used in the hotel. Get to the point!
3. Silence.
As Williams says, Silence does speak a thousand words. There's nothing better than the "power pause", especially when trying to captivate your listeners with a story of bravery. You can lead up to something powerful, then pause while the girl takes it in and after a few seconds of silence, say, "But that's not all..." Or
4. Drama and comedy.
Don't be afraid to sprinkle some dramatic and comedic flair into your speech. If you're talking about a goofy incident with your buddy, laugh along with it. When you laugh, it's a cue for other people to laugh. Chris Rock does this all the time; he laughs at his own scripts, and it has the power of making his routine all the funnier. Likewise, if you're telling a dramatic story of something amazing like rescuing people from a car accident, talk with conviction and suspense. It really goes a long way towards spellbinding women; they love a great story, especially a heroic one.
5. Use body language.
It's not enough to talk with your arms beside your side and your butt on your seat. Talk with your arms, with your hands, your body language creating a sense of excitement. It's a fact: enthusiasm is contagious. So show some enthusiasm with your vocal and body languages!
Finally, change your pitch. If things are going well, lower your pitch, give her your best Barry White. If you're talking about a funny moment, a louder, more excited pitch is probably best. Recognize the mood and alter your voice to conform to it.
Congratulations! You're on your way to making great impressions on great women. Recognize the power of speech and appearance, and you're bound to succeed.
Don't forget, if you want to learn more about making yourself unforgettable to women by making unforgettable impressions, visit my website at "How to Be Irresistible to Women."
http://www.000relationships.com/towomen
Now it's YOUR turn!
James
Author of "How to Be Irresistible to Women"
http://www.000relationships.com/towomen
********************************************************************
About the author:
James is the author of the latest edition of "How to Be Irresistible to Women PREMIUM."His years of dating experience and international travel have tutored him in the art of meeting and seducing females the world over and introduces a worldly approach to dating and developing real relationships necessary for the modern man.
The "How to Be Irresistible to Women" package offers single men a dynamic and comprehensive tool-kit to attract women and establish an honest and supportive relationship. You can learn more about how to attract the woman of your dreams at:
http://www.000relationships.com/towomen
Wednesday, 23 December 2009
Ingredient For A Healthy Relationship:Reading People
Body language is the meaning behind the words or the “unspoken” language. Surprisingly, studies show that only up to an estimated 10 percent of our communication is verbal. The majority of the rest of communication is unspoken. This unspoken language isn’t rocket science. However, there are some generalizations or basic interpretations that can be applied to help with the understanding or translating of these unspoken meanings. Here are some basics below.
Smile – People like warm smiles. Think of a heartfelt warm-fussy, maybe your favorite pet, and smile.
Eyes - -If you don’t look someone in the eyes while speaking, this can be interpreted as dishonesty or hiding something. Likewise, shifting eye movement or rapid changing of focus/direction can translate similarly. If more than one person is present in a group, look each person in the eye as you speak, slowly turning to face the next person and acknowledge him or her with eye contact as well. Continue on so that each person has felt your warm, trusting glance. Some suggest beginning with one person and moving clockwise around the group so that no one is missed, and so that you are not darting around, seemingly glaring at people.
Attention Span / Attitude – Other people can tell what type attitude you have by your attention span. If you quickly lose focus of the other person and what is being said, and if your attention span wanders, this shows through and makes you seem disinterested, bored, possibly even uncaring.
Attention Direction – If you sit or stand so that you are blocking another in the party, say someone is behind you, this can be interpreted as rude or thoughtless. So be sure to turn so that everyone is included in the conversation or angle of view, or turn gently, at ease and slowly, while talking, so that everyone is incorporated, recognized and involved in the conversation. Again some suggest the clockwise movement when working a group.
Arms Folded / Legs Crossed– This can be seen as defensive or an end to the conversation. So have arms hang freely or hold a glass of water, a business card or note taking instruments while communicating with others. Be open with open arms. Note: If you need to cross legs, cross at your ankles and not your knees. Sitting tightly folded up says that you are closed to communications.
Head Shaking – This is fairly accurate. If people are shaking their heads while you speak, they are in agreement. If they are shaking, “no,” disagreement reigns in their minds.
Space / Distance – On the whole, people like their own personal body space. Give people room and keep out of their space. Entering to close can be intrusive and viewed as aggressive.
Leaning – Sitting or standing, leaning is viewed as interest. In other words, an interested listener leans toward the speaker.
Note others’ body language – While you are with others, note how their bodies read. If a person suddenly folds his arms across his chest and begins shaking his head “no,” you’ve probably lost him. Might try taking a step back and picking up where the conversation began this turn for the negative and regroup. It’s all about strategic planning!
Smile – People like warm smiles. Think of a heartfelt warm-fussy, maybe your favorite pet, and smile.
Eyes - -If you don’t look someone in the eyes while speaking, this can be interpreted as dishonesty or hiding something. Likewise, shifting eye movement or rapid changing of focus/direction can translate similarly. If more than one person is present in a group, look each person in the eye as you speak, slowly turning to face the next person and acknowledge him or her with eye contact as well. Continue on so that each person has felt your warm, trusting glance. Some suggest beginning with one person and moving clockwise around the group so that no one is missed, and so that you are not darting around, seemingly glaring at people.
Attention Span / Attitude – Other people can tell what type attitude you have by your attention span. If you quickly lose focus of the other person and what is being said, and if your attention span wanders, this shows through and makes you seem disinterested, bored, possibly even uncaring.
Attention Direction – If you sit or stand so that you are blocking another in the party, say someone is behind you, this can be interpreted as rude or thoughtless. So be sure to turn so that everyone is included in the conversation or angle of view, or turn gently, at ease and slowly, while talking, so that everyone is incorporated, recognized and involved in the conversation. Again some suggest the clockwise movement when working a group.
Arms Folded / Legs Crossed– This can be seen as defensive or an end to the conversation. So have arms hang freely or hold a glass of water, a business card or note taking instruments while communicating with others. Be open with open arms. Note: If you need to cross legs, cross at your ankles and not your knees. Sitting tightly folded up says that you are closed to communications.
Head Shaking – This is fairly accurate. If people are shaking their heads while you speak, they are in agreement. If they are shaking, “no,” disagreement reigns in their minds.
Space / Distance – On the whole, people like their own personal body space. Give people room and keep out of their space. Entering to close can be intrusive and viewed as aggressive.
Leaning – Sitting or standing, leaning is viewed as interest. In other words, an interested listener leans toward the speaker.
Note others’ body language – While you are with others, note how their bodies read. If a person suddenly folds his arms across his chest and begins shaking his head “no,” you’ve probably lost him. Might try taking a step back and picking up where the conversation began this turn for the negative and regroup. It’s all about strategic planning!
The Concept Of Dating And Relationship
Let’s take a peak at some of the more common concepts above “love” relationships and see if they are myths or based upon reality.
“All we need is love.” Myth or not? Since love does seem to be able to overcome anything and everything, at least on television and at the movies, this seems like a reality. However, truth is, making relationships work takes skill and hard work, regardless of the “love” factor. This is a myth here.
Just like in fairy tales, once true love is found, people live happily ever after. Truth or myth? Granted couples can look into each other’s eyes and have those warm fuzzy feelings. However, truth is, all couples will have their ups and downs. “Happily ever after” seems to imply a perfect, problem-less relationship when in reality, those don’t exist.
It has to be “love at first sight” in order to work long-term. Myth or truth? While this can be true for some, it certainly doesn’t have to be for all couples in long-term relationships. Many people grow together over time.
Since practically anyone can learn the nuts and bolts of relationship building, focusing on some basic techniques that can be learned is a must. The main ones, in no particular order, are:
- Read: “Read” people well.
- Rapport: Develop rapport with others well.
- Finesse: Have some finesse; i.e. handle conversations and activities in a cordial manner
- Conflict Resolution: Resolve negative issues and conflicts without too much friction
- Support Co-Op: Gain the support and cooperation in working towards a common goal
Let’s take a little closer look at each and what learning is involved.
“All we need is love.” Myth or not? Since love does seem to be able to overcome anything and everything, at least on television and at the movies, this seems like a reality. However, truth is, making relationships work takes skill and hard work, regardless of the “love” factor. This is a myth here.
Just like in fairy tales, once true love is found, people live happily ever after. Truth or myth? Granted couples can look into each other’s eyes and have those warm fuzzy feelings. However, truth is, all couples will have their ups and downs. “Happily ever after” seems to imply a perfect, problem-less relationship when in reality, those don’t exist.
It has to be “love at first sight” in order to work long-term. Myth or truth? While this can be true for some, it certainly doesn’t have to be for all couples in long-term relationships. Many people grow together over time.
Since practically anyone can learn the nuts and bolts of relationship building, focusing on some basic techniques that can be learned is a must. The main ones, in no particular order, are:
- Read: “Read” people well.
- Rapport: Develop rapport with others well.
- Finesse: Have some finesse; i.e. handle conversations and activities in a cordial manner
- Conflict Resolution: Resolve negative issues and conflicts without too much friction
- Support Co-Op: Gain the support and cooperation in working towards a common goal
Let’s take a little closer look at each and what learning is involved.
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