Wednesday, 9 June 2010
Online dating rules to live by: Its never personal
How to survive digital rejection with your dignity intact
That headline seems ridiculous, right? I mean, what is dating if not extremely, completely, horrendously, desperately personal? How can you go about searching for the one person that makes your heart feel whole without getting at least a little bit personal?
It seems weird, but when it comes to looking for love online, you need to remember that it's not about you -- at least not for awhile. Most of us who've dipped even a toe into the tepid waters of online dating have felt at certain times that maybe we're just not made for computer-based romance. We're not photogenic enough or we just can't write; our icebreakers keep getting rejected and our winks are never returned.
If you happen to be one of the thousands who isn't having success on the dating sites, you should definitely consider tweaking your profile and having a friend take some pictures that show off your good side. But once you've done that, you need to keep in mind that your digital dry spell is probably temporary. Anyone who's tried out one of the many dating sites knows that luck tends to ebb and flow like the member pool. But most importantly, when someone flakes out on you or makes it clear that they don't share your feelings of attraction, you need to not take it personally.
The truth is, you can't possibly know why that girl isn't interested. Maybe you she hates dogs and you have a boxer. Maybe she's intimidated by your intellectual prowess and professional success. Or maybe she just met someone and wants to see where it goes. No matter what, it ultimately has very little to do with you. And while we're all tempted to decide that it's our massive forehead and clown-like ears, the more likely scenario is that she had something else going on ... or she just wasn't your type anyway.
View the Original article
That headline seems ridiculous, right? I mean, what is dating if not extremely, completely, horrendously, desperately personal? How can you go about searching for the one person that makes your heart feel whole without getting at least a little bit personal?
It seems weird, but when it comes to looking for love online, you need to remember that it's not about you -- at least not for awhile. Most of us who've dipped even a toe into the tepid waters of online dating have felt at certain times that maybe we're just not made for computer-based romance. We're not photogenic enough or we just can't write; our icebreakers keep getting rejected and our winks are never returned.
If you happen to be one of the thousands who isn't having success on the dating sites, you should definitely consider tweaking your profile and having a friend take some pictures that show off your good side. But once you've done that, you need to keep in mind that your digital dry spell is probably temporary. Anyone who's tried out one of the many dating sites knows that luck tends to ebb and flow like the member pool. But most importantly, when someone flakes out on you or makes it clear that they don't share your feelings of attraction, you need to not take it personally.
The truth is, you can't possibly know why that girl isn't interested. Maybe you she hates dogs and you have a boxer. Maybe she's intimidated by your intellectual prowess and professional success. Or maybe she just met someone and wants to see where it goes. No matter what, it ultimately has very little to do with you. And while we're all tempted to decide that it's our massive forehead and clown-like ears, the more likely scenario is that she had something else going on ... or she just wasn't your type anyway.
View the Original article
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