Showing posts with label ready for relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ready for relationship. Show all posts
Thursday, 25 February 2010
What If Your Partner Is Only Attracted To Jerks
Do you know partners who seem to be "only" attracted to jerks? (Come on now, I am sure everybody knows at least a couple.)
Today I have a piece of golden advice for dating such partner:
Don't do it!
If a one-night stand or a short-term relationship is all that you're looking for, well, I'm not going to stop you. (Still, I want you to be VERY careful!)
But if you're looking to start a long-term relationship with a partner who has a long history of dating jerks or the "abusive type", then I urge you to rethink.
Because the fact that he/she's been attracted to these guys/ladies is a sign that he/she may have deeper problems than you think.
It is perfectly normal for a man/woman to be attracted to a man who acts like a challenge.
It is also quite normal for a man/woman to feel attraction for a jerk.
But a man/woman who keeps going back to dating jerks...well...let's just say that that is NOT normal.
It shows the man/woman LIKES being mistreated because of some deeper psychological issues. (Usually it's because of low self-esteem, but there are other reasons as well.)
Dating a man/woman like this is like holding a time bomb in your hands - you never know when he/she's going to blow up.
If you're dating such a man/woman, feel free to send me an email and I'll yell at you.
As a "Smart Dater", there's absolutely no reason for you to tolerate these "baggage women/men".
Date men/women who are not good "to" you, but good FOR you instead!
Today I have a piece of golden advice for dating such partner:
Don't do it!
If a one-night stand or a short-term relationship is all that you're looking for, well, I'm not going to stop you. (Still, I want you to be VERY careful!)
But if you're looking to start a long-term relationship with a partner who has a long history of dating jerks or the "abusive type", then I urge you to rethink.
Because the fact that he/she's been attracted to these guys/ladies is a sign that he/she may have deeper problems than you think.
It is perfectly normal for a man/woman to be attracted to a man who acts like a challenge.
It is also quite normal for a man/woman to feel attraction for a jerk.
But a man/woman who keeps going back to dating jerks...well...let's just say that that is NOT normal.
It shows the man/woman LIKES being mistreated because of some deeper psychological issues. (Usually it's because of low self-esteem, but there are other reasons as well.)
Dating a man/woman like this is like holding a time bomb in your hands - you never know when he/she's going to blow up.
If you're dating such a man/woman, feel free to send me an email and I'll yell at you.
As a "Smart Dater", there's absolutely no reason for you to tolerate these "baggage women/men".
Date men/women who are not good "to" you, but good FOR you instead!
Monday, 21 December 2009
When Are You Ready To Move Onto A New Relationship?
A breakup is painful and difficult to deal with on so many levels. The end of a close relationship, an intimate friendship, the dreams that were shared with the significant other are just few things which are lost. When are you really ready to move on to a new relationship without the trauma of the past relation?
You may reflect on some of these points:
1. Your significant other from the past no longer occupies your thoughts constantly. You cannot move ahead with a new person if you are mentally focused on someone else. During a breakup your main thoughts are occupied by the ex – what could have happened, what if things were somehow different, and what if you had not made a mistake, what if there was something you should have said? Once these thoughts of past relationship have been slowly died it will no longer be the primary force in your life.
2. You no longer get all worked up and upset when dealing with your ex. There will surely come a time, when dealing with your ex will become easier and much less emotional. You will be dealing with just another annoying person.
3. You have stopped trying to please your ex. Once a breakup has occurred all obligations to please are over. You no longer do the special things you used to do for them. Favors like washing the car or doing the laundry are no longer obligatory.
4. Your conversations with friends do not include your ex anymore. We all tend to think and speak about the most important things in our lives, if you are no longer talking about your ex it means you can move on.
5. The romantic feelings are all gone. We all harbor feelings towards our ex just after a breakup. When they subside it means you have recovered considerably.
6. You can accept the fact that your ex may have a new romantic partner. There is not a feeling of jealousy because the emotional tie has worn off.
7. You no longer get angry at your ex. During a breakup one feels intensely angry. When former partners no longer evoke anger, one has become detached emotionally.
You must wait and reflect till you get over some of these feelings and attachments. Everyone goes through them and it's only natural. One must be hopeful and have a positive approach to life.
You may reflect on some of these points:
1. Your significant other from the past no longer occupies your thoughts constantly. You cannot move ahead with a new person if you are mentally focused on someone else. During a breakup your main thoughts are occupied by the ex – what could have happened, what if things were somehow different, and what if you had not made a mistake, what if there was something you should have said? Once these thoughts of past relationship have been slowly died it will no longer be the primary force in your life.
2. You no longer get all worked up and upset when dealing with your ex. There will surely come a time, when dealing with your ex will become easier and much less emotional. You will be dealing with just another annoying person.
3. You have stopped trying to please your ex. Once a breakup has occurred all obligations to please are over. You no longer do the special things you used to do for them. Favors like washing the car or doing the laundry are no longer obligatory.
4. Your conversations with friends do not include your ex anymore. We all tend to think and speak about the most important things in our lives, if you are no longer talking about your ex it means you can move on.
5. The romantic feelings are all gone. We all harbor feelings towards our ex just after a breakup. When they subside it means you have recovered considerably.
6. You can accept the fact that your ex may have a new romantic partner. There is not a feeling of jealousy because the emotional tie has worn off.
7. You no longer get angry at your ex. During a breakup one feels intensely angry. When former partners no longer evoke anger, one has become detached emotionally.
You must wait and reflect till you get over some of these feelings and attachments. Everyone goes through them and it's only natural. One must be hopeful and have a positive approach to life.
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