10 Deadly Relationship Mistakes That Cause Breakups

Mistake #4 – Settling Into A Routine Too Quickly

If you would like a relationship to last, then something you should always remember is to not settle into a routine too quickly.

A quick way to kill the excitement in your relationship and be well on your way to a breakup (or infidelity) is by settling into a boring routine by doing things such as:

- Always doing the same things for dates.
- Always going to the same restaurants.
- Always going to the same places.
- Always meeting on a certain day at a certain time…week after week.
- Always saying the same things to your partner.
- Always doing the same things to your partner.

Etc, etc, etc. You get the idea!

As tempting it may be to settle down and stay within your comfort zone so that you never have to take any risks with your partner, try to keep things exciting so that there are times when you don’t know what will happen on a date because you “have never been there” before. Try to keep things fresh and exciting and do something “new” at least once a month.

Your relationship may depend on it!

Here are some ideas:
1) Try to go to different places for dates.
2) Go to different restaurants and try different foods. Don’t order the same dish every time.
3) Don’t always meet on the same days of the week at the same time.
4) Be playful and continue to be a challenge.
5) Don’t take your partner for granted.
6) Be creative when you make out.
7) Have little surprises.

Keep things exciting, and you won’t be able to keep yourselves off each other. Keep things the same all the time, and eventually the chemistry will drop and the relationship will die.

10 Deadly Relationship Mistakes That Cause Breakups

Mistake #3 – Letting The Chemistry Die

A common myth I hear all the time is that passion and attraction always turn into commitment and friendship over time.

I strongly disagree.

After years of experience of working with couples around the world, I can tell you that in every relationship that lasts, there's always a certain amount of passion and attraction.

Even though the passion may not be as strong as when the couple first met, there will STILL be attraction and chemistry...

Without this chemistry, a relationship will quickly turn into nothing more but a "friendship”. When that happens, the passion will die, the relationship will become hollow, and both parties will be more tempted to look for "fun" outside the relationship.

Here's what I believe in: The couple that plays is the couple that stays.

It doesn't matter how long you've been together with a person, be it months, years, or decades. If you want a healthy relationship, you must NOT become lazy and let the romance die. You have to keep it going.

With that said, here are a few ways to romance your partner:
1) Have a candlelight dinner.
2) Go star or moon gazing.
3) Compliment your partner in front of other people.
4) Hug and your partner when they come home.
5) Give your partner a terrific massage.
6) Surprise your partner by doing their chores without asking. Use the free time to snuggle.
7) Have a picnic.
8) Flirt with your partner and be playful.

Spend time to have fun with your partner every week, no matter how busy or stressed you may be!

What If My Partner Wants To See Other People?

What does your partner mean when he/she says you should both see other people?

As a Smart Dater, it should only mean one thing: his/her attraction for you has dropped so much that the relationship is about to end.

Your partner can not just wake up one day and want to start seeing other people. Usually, when he/she wants to see other men/women outside an existing relationship, it's because she wants to meet other men/women without feeling guilty OR without facing complete rejection if a man/woman rejects him/her. (He/She will still have a guy at home to go home to.)

In other words, your partner only wants to see other guys/ladies because he/she is not attracted to you anymore, but at the same time, he/she wants to keep you around as a "backup" in case his/her new partner turns out to be a creep. In fact, he/she may even see you as a "tool" to get new partner jealous.

So what do you do when your partner wants to "see other people"?

Well, honestly there's not much you can do. If you disagree, he/she will probably dump you right there since the attraction is so low anyway.

Your best bet is to end the relationship right there OR to agree to see other people too. But either way, you want to actually start seeing other people and let him/her know ALL about it. Show him/her that you ARE capable of attracting other men/women and that you are NOT going to just sit there and be his/her "backup plan."

If he/she freaks out and begs for you to come back, good. Otherwise, just move on. He/She's not worth your time!

9 Signs It's Time To End A Relationship

1) Everybody around you is telling you your partner is not for you:
Yes, I know it’s you who’s in love with your partner, not them. But if everybody thinks there’s something wrong with your partner, perhaps they’re right. Don’t forget that third party opinions are usually more objective than yours.

2) Your partner is a bit crazy/unstable or has major character flaws.
Remember…you don’t need any more emotional baggage in your life.

3) You’re trying too hard to change yourself for your partner.
I’m sorry, but if you’re constantly trying to change yourself for your partner, maybe you’re just not the right person for him/her.

4) You’re trying too hard to make your partner care for you.
If you spend every moment obsessing over your partner to keep her interested, you’re definitely not the right person for him/her.

5) You’re always arguing with your partner.
Dating should be fun. So if you spent more time arguing with your partner than having fun when you were dating, maybe it’s better to move on.

6) You feel you’ve lowered your standards for your partner.
If you think you're "too good" for a spouse, then raise your bar and find someone better.

8) You feel like it’s becoming a chore to take care of your partner but you do not want to break up because you do not want to hurt him/her.
Guess what? You will eventually break up with him/her if you feel this way. Better to do it now.

9) You’re just with him/her because you're afraid of being single again.
So you would rather be in a bad relationship? Not a valid excuse.
Find a partner you're actually IN LOVE with instead!

12 Signs You Should Leave A Woman

Here are 10 signs you should leave a woman:

1) She is addicted to drugs.
Sorry, call me a jerk, but there's no compromise for this one. I've seen WAY too many readers get burned by going out with junkies.

2) She has cheated on you more than once.
Letting her come back the first time was already a mistake. Don't make the same mistake again.

3) You don't like being with her except for the sex.
You can get sex off any woman. So no matter how good sex with a particular woman is, it can NOT be the only reason to stay with her.

4) You know she doesn't like you.
If you know that she doesn’t like you, then you should also know that she'll leave you as soon as she finds someone better.

5) She is too needy and demanding.
Women who are a tiny bit needy is okay. But if a woman is extremely demanding of you, then you should find someone who's not as demanding.

6) She comes between you and your friends.
Women come, women go, but best friends are for life. Don't lose your friends - or when you finally break up with a woman, you're going to find yourself without any friends!

7) She doesn't respect you.
If a woman doesn't show you the respect you deserve, leave without looking back. It will NOT work out anyway.

8) You don't respect her.
I you don't respect a woman as your equal, you're not going to be happy with her in a relationship. You'll either be unhappy, or you'll cheat.

9) She has constant emotional problems.
Don't fall pray to drama queens and other emotional vampires. They will suck all the energy out of you and then move on to their next victims.

10) You don't like yourself when you're with her.
If you don't like who you are when you're not with a woman, she is NOT going to make a good long-term girlfriend for you no matter how hot she is.

11) You're not physically attracted to her anymore.
Never stay with a woman just because you're afraid of hurting her should you break up. It will only hurt her more in the end.

12) You keep thinking, "Maybe things will get better..."
After hearing dozens of cases from my readers every week for many years, I can guarantee you that it won't.

10 Signs You Are About To Get Dumped

1) Your Partner is Always Busy See You
Life is all about priorities. If your partner is always busy to see you, but yet he's got time to go shopping, hang out with her girlfriends, or even go for coffee with that cute guy/lady at work, it is a sign you are not important in his/her life anymore.

2) Your Partner Gets Mad At You For , Stupid Things
He/She will often use "little excuses" to show his/her negative feelings towards you before a breakup. Nothing you do will be up to her standards, and he will find every opportunity to let you know you are not up to her standards. See this as a warning of what is to come.

3) Your Partner Screens You Out When You Call
If he stops answering your calls directly and lets you go right to her voice mail, it is a sign that he's stopped caring. If he wanted to talk to you, don't you think he would have picked up?

4) Your Partner's Friends Suddenly Seem Distant
If her friends have always "liked" you historically in the past but are now all suddenly acting "distanced" whenever you are in their presence, it is a sign they may know something you don't know - such as you are about to get dumped.

5) You Fight All The Time Over Tiny Things
A tiny bit of fighting is all right in a relationship.
But if you fight ALL the time over the tiniest things, it is a sign the relationship is not going to work.

6) Your Partner Doesn't Hold Your Hand Anymore
If he does not need to show any affection in public, it is a sign the romantic feelings are gone. It won't be long before he dumps you.

7) Your Partner Has Stopped Having Sex
If he's stops having sex or getting physically intimate with you, that is another sign her attraction for you has dropped and you are about to get dumped.

8) Your Partner Doesn't Seem Attracted To You Anymore
Do you get the feeling that she is not that in to you anymore? Guess what? Your intuition is probably right.

9) Your Partner Wants "Space"
If a woman asks for "space", it is a sign she is feeling suffocated by the relationship. Back off a bit and give her some space. If you push now, you will only push her in to breaking up with you.

10) Your Partner Wants To See Other People
If a woman wants to "see other people", it is a sign the relationship is over. Don't believe in any of her excuses. The truth is, if he were still VERY attracted to you, he would not even dream of seeing other people!

ABC’s of Unhealthy, Sad Relationships (continued)

Responds Inappropriately – Some characteristics of unhealthy relationships include playing head games, trying to humiliate, using threats, insults or jealousy. These inappropriate responses suggest unhealthy environment between the couple.

Silence – Silence isn’t always golden, as the saying goes. If one person shuns or ignores the other, outside of a solitary or very brief occurrence, this can reflect an unhealthy relationship.

Treatment – If health care treatments are being ignored or stopped without the help of a professional; for example, in the case of stopping anti-depressant medication after a severe (negative) episode (like suicide), this can signal an unhealthy relationship. People need to take care of themselves and not leave everything up to their mates in relationships.

Untidy / Unkempt – When one or both partners disregards physical appearance for the duration (long-term, not just for a weekend), this signals an unhealthy relationship. One or both could be abusing substances, for example, or suffering depression.

Verbal Abuse /Violate – When one or both partners use verbal
abuse and / or violate or cause harm to the other’s person or personal property, things or friends, this can be a red flag for an unhealthy relationship. People should respect each other and each other’s property, things and friends. And verbal abuse is not appropriate.

Weapons – Threatening a partner with a weapon, even if it’s a household (or other) item used as a weapon is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.

Xerox – A trait of an unhappy relationship can be when a person is copying another, failing to be himself or herself. Some personality disorders are also characterized by this trait that reportedly shows up in a number of unhealthy relationships. And help is available.

Youthful Outlook / Emotions – An energetic, youthful attitude toward life is one thing. Youthful expectations; i.e. outlook, and emotions can be characteristic of unhealthy partners. Growing couples need maturity as they grow together and face adult issues. Childish displays of anger, hostility, selfishness, etc., don’t have much place in healthy, growing partnerships.

Zero – Growing relationships need a foundation. Zero to grow on is difficult to multiply. Got to start somewhere!

ABC’s of Unhealthy, Sad Relationships (continued)

Management Mania – Remember the “Odd Couple?” A super manager personality can ruin an otherwise healthy relationship. Likewise a super sloth can wreak one, too. A little give and take is called for.

“Neverland” – Ever heard something this in an argument, “You never….?” Well trips to Neverland are for Peter Pan. Skip the “always” and “nevers” in arguments and avoid unhealthy relationship issues. It’s rare that someone does or does not do something 100 percent of the time. Memories just seem to fail during opportunistic, stressful episodes sometimes (not always, though!)

Ominous – Bad or ominous feelings, an omen…a feeling deep inside that tells you something is wrong - this often accompanies unhealthy relationships.

Pressure – When one party pressures (or forces) the other to have sex, this is characteristic of an unhealthy relationship.

Questions – Part of communicating is asking and answering questions. If this process causes problems, i.e. even the simplest of questions arouses anger, suspicions, fighting, etc., this is a trait often found with unhealthy relationships. The party who has difficulty answering questions may be hiding something, dealing with control issues or dealing with substance abuse (or other).

ABC’s of Unhealthy, Sad Relationships (continued)

Indulgence – Instant gratification or indulgence of unhealthy behaviors is a sign of trouble. Grabbing chocolate to satisfy a craving is one thing. Grabbing illicit drugs or another mate in secrecy is another. Yielding to unhealthy temptations and desires is a pathway to unhealthy relationships.

Just say yes – Not being able to draw boundaries or sustain limits is another possible path to sad relationships. For example, if one person in the relationship has a difficult time saying “No” and setting limits, his or her mate could always come in second, third or forth - - rarely first in the other person’s eyes and agenda. And while it’s fine to take a back seat once in awhile, people make time for priorities and in healthy relationships, both parties feel and share the value of being number one with one another.

Kick the Dog – Kicking the dog, not in a literal sense (although that would be negative, too!) is characteristic of unhealthy relationships. For example, if a person comes home angry and passes this anger on to the dog by kicking it, that is not a healthy release of anger. The unhealthier people are, the unhealthier they generally deal with stress.Help is available.

Lemons – Unhealthy relationships often have at least one party who can’t seem to make lemonade out of life’s lemons. Maybe he or she has the wrong recipe. Or maybe the person is a bad cook. But assistance is needed in this department!

ABC’s of Unhealthy, Sad Relationships (continued)

Devotional Void – A lack of commitment or ardent love can make for
unhappy relationships. Being friends or roommates is one thing. Being committed, loving soul mates is another. Being “in love” 24/7 doesn’t necessarily have to be a requirement, but being in a “loving” committed relationship can make the difference.

Enthusiasm Dwindles – If you don’t add in some spice once in awhile, you can get the same old, same old. Couples caught up in routines can lose that spark of enthusiasm; i.e. zest of life in their relationships if they forget to be spontaneous once in awhile or forget to flavor their relationship with fun, adventure, romance.

Forgiveness Void – No one is perfect. Mistakes are a part of life. Those unwilling or unable to forgive, can pretty much count on having more unhealthy relationships over time. Relationships based or growing on anger, spite, disgust, resentment or other negative feelings associated with lack of forgiveness are like wilted flowers. They need tending to or they’ll die.

Guise - Simulated relationships or those under the guise of having a solid, happy relationship are not destined for success, on the whole. Or rather false is as false does, as Forest Gump might say. Pretending wears thin and doesn’t last long.

Harm – Harmful thoughts, words and actions can sure lead to unhealthy relationships. An occasional outbreak during a stressful moment might be considered normal like swearing; i.e. if someone hasn’t been raped, battered (or other sever trauma has occurred) by the other party. However, harmful, violent actions such as those and repeated verbal negativity is abusive and not healthy in relationships – or life.

ABC’s of Unhealthy, Sad Relationships

Unhealthy, Sad Relationships have some general notable characteristics in common. Here are some basic guidelines for reference. They are in alphabetical order only, not order of importance.

Avoidance – Many people in unhealthy relationships simply avoid facing reality. There are many reasons for this. For instance, deep down inside, the people involved may be trying to make themselves appear superior. Or perhaps they don’t want to face the fact that their mates really aren’t who they say they are. For example, Person A might cover up and make excuses for his mate, Person B, who is always late coming home from work and almost always misses family functions. Person A could be trying to avoid reality and make up excuses to cover up an affair that Person B is involved in so that it doesn’t destroy their “perfect image” in everyone’s eyes. Or Person A could be avoiding the fact that Person B is a workaholic.

Burnout – Although many can carry out romance throughout their entire relationships, the actual honeymoon period does have to end, in reality. And those who can keep the “love” fires burning, not 24 / 7 but off and on regularly during their relationship, have better chances of healthier relationships than those who suffer burnout and don’t know where to turn or who turn to unhealthy solutions. In short, every relationship has its highs and lows. During the low times, like maybe when one person begins to feel disillusioned with marriage, or maybe trapped, tired, helpless, depressed or let down, if this person reaches out to unhealthy alternatives, like getting a fake substitution – maybe seeking another mate in secret, getting “high,” or some other negative behavior, once-healthy relationships can suffer. Instead, the couple needs to face issues together; add some new goals to the relationship, do some fun things together more, talk more, etc.

Compatibility Issues – Opposites attract; or do they? Sure it’s great to have some “spice” in your life. But relationships are about getting your needs met – at least on some level. And constant negativity can certainly hinder intimacy. So those who have a difficult time focusing on what attracted them to their mates in the first place can suffer unhealthy, sad relationships, constantly in conflict over issues with which they can’t agree.

ABC’s of Unhealthy, Sad Relationships

Unhealthy, Sad Relationships have some general notable characteristics in common. Here are some basic guidelines for reference. They are in alphabetical order only, not order of importance.

Avoidance – Many people in unhealthy relationships simply avoid facing reality. There are many reasons for this. For instance, deep down inside, the people involved may be trying to make themselves appear superior. Or perhaps they don’t want to face the fact that their mates really aren’t who they say they are. For example, Person A might cover up and make excuses for his mate, Person B, who is always late coming home from work and almost always misses family functions. Person A could be trying to avoid reality and make up excuses to cover up an affair that Person B is involved in so that it doesn’t destroy their “perfect image” in everyone’s eyes. Or Person A could be avoiding the fact that Person B is a workaholic.

Burnout – Although many can carry out romance throughout their entire relationships, the actual honeymoon period does have to end, in reality. And those who can keep the “love” fires burning, not 24 / 7 but off and on regularly during their relationship, have better chances of healthier relationships than those who suffer burnout and don’t know where to turn or who turn to unhealthy solutions. In short, every relationship has its highs and lows. During the low times, like maybe when one person begins to feel disillusioned with marriage, or maybe trapped, tired, helpless, depressed or let down, if this person reaches out to unhealthy alternatives, like getting a fake substitution – maybe seeking another mate in secret, getting “high,” or some other negative behavior, once-healthy relationships can suffer. Instead, the couple needs to face issues together; add some new goals to the relationship, do some fun things together more, talk more, etc.

Compatibility Issues – Opposites attract; or do they? Sure it’s great to have some “spice” in your life. But relationships are about getting your needs met – at least on some level. And constant negativity can certainly hinder intimacy. So those who have a difficult time focusing on what attracted them to their mates in the first place can suffer unhealthy, sad relationships, constantly in conflict over issues with which they can’t agree.