8 Don't Of A Successful Relationship

Nobody's perfect, but it seems there are some mistakes that have more dire consequences on your love relationship than others. Have you made any of these blunders?

1. Don't Try To Change Your Partner 

"If they love me enough, they'll change to please me." Do not try to change your partner or force him/her to change, It's will only take some time.

Do say that "If he/she loves me, he/she will change that small thing to please me." What you must know is that to your partner that "small thing" isn't small at all. Even when they try to change in order to please you, most times they do it with resentment "You do not love me for myself, but for the person you want me to be," They say. Yes, that is true You partner feel you do not really love when you try to change him/her.You are just after your selfish purpose to change them to fill your own needs.

2. Don't Feel like A Failure In Relationship 

Never you start to feel as though you are not been loved, that life is against you or that you will always fail in love or your relationship. The truth is that you are never a failure It is just that you have not learn the strategies and techniques about enjoying, managing or keeping your relationship.

By the time you learn and practice these new strategies and techniques, you will be able to handle and take control of your love relationship in the best way possible.

3. Don't Believe You Have To Be "Good Enough" To Keep Your Love Relationship
 
Many people have come to believe that they have to turn into a pretzel to keep someone's love or their relationship. Not too long a woman came to me and said, " I finally found a wonderful man but the relationship is miserable. "Everyday I worry that he will find out who I really am and leave." This woman was daily expecting rejection, and she actually did things to bring about it. Soon she began to sabotage the relationship, finding all kind of fault with the man Although she fail to realize it, she did this tings to feel better about herself. The truth you must understand is that you cannot earn another person's love. The more you try to do this the worse you feel. You must understand that you are created to be loved. You must learn to be the friend of yourself.

4. Don't Reject Your Partner So They Can't Do It First
 
A lot of people reject their partners as protection against being rejected by themselves.The idea here is that such people feel they do not deserve a relationship, they feel they can't hold onto a partner because they have not accepted who they are.

5. Don't Believe Your Partner Should Read Your Mind, And Know What You Want Without Your "Communicating" Clearly
 
"If my partner loved me, he/she will know what I needed and give it to me." Never you believe this, your partner is not a soothsayer that will always know what is on your mind. Even soothsayer do not know everything on ones mind at times. It would then not be necessary to have to actually ask what you wanted. This is one of the grave mistake so many people make in their relationship. A relationship cannot flourish where there is no truth, openness or lack of communication. Effective communication, however, can be a skill. And though you may feel that you have repeated yourself a thousand times, that you have communicated. There are ways of communication in and of themselves, can save your relationship. Not only should you know what you want, and ask for it clearly (without producing any guilt) -- you must also be able to accept both yes and no.

6. Don't Believe It's Your Partner's Job To Make You Happy
 
If your partner at any time said no, it does not mean that your partner does not love you. They are some demands that may be impossible to fulfill. It is not your partner's job to always make you happy. Your partner should be there to grow and share with you. You must learn to make yourself happy, and make others happy as well. Love is based on communicating, consideration and giving. However, you must be happy with yourself, before another person can make you happy.

7. Don't Believe It Is Hard To Get Your Partner To Talk
 
When it is time for intimate conversation the man clam up, offer a few grunts, expecting the woman to magically understand what's going on. The woman feel shut out and the man feel misunderstood. However, you do not realize something as a woman. The man want to talk. Under a conducive conditions, he will talk all night long. Men desperately want to express their feelings to others and tell them what is going on. However, what many do not realize is, men are more fragile than women. If you want them to talk, things have to be right. All that is needed here is to learn how to create a conducive environment, that is what is necessary for a man to feel safe enough to talk.

8. Don't Be Addicted To Fighting
 
When they see their partner upset, it reassures them that they care. Others have seen their parents fighting and this is the only role model they have. Some are addicted to the "high" they get out of fighting. Some crave the feeling of domination, respect or control. Domination is not love. If it hurts, then it is abuse, no longer love.