Mistake #9 – Acting Jealous

Jealousy IS the green-horned devil when it comes to relationships.

If you’re the jealous type, then you really need to learn to control your jealousy. Or one day you will push your partner over the edge.

Here are a few tips on how to deal with your jealousy:

1) Understand that jealousy is a form of insecurity. Admit that the problem may be on your end, but not on your partner’s end.
2) Communicate with your partner without accusing them: “It made me uncomfortable to see you with that woman” instead of "why did you talk to that woman?"
3) Write it down in a journal whenever you feel jealous. Then go back to it a few days later and see if the outcome was as bad as you thought it would be.
4) Challenge your jealous thoughts. For example, say to yourself, “Yes, he did talk to my girlfriend, but I have no evidence that he wants to steal her. This is my insecurity trying to take control and it won’t help my relationship.” Focus on what is really happening, not what you perceive to be happening
5) Set clear rules and boundaries. For example, she can go out for lunch with guys, but she has to pay for herself.

If your partner is the one who’s jealous…then you should think about how bad the problem is.

If your partner a normal person who gets jealous every once in awhile, then you don't have too much to worry about. In fact, it's good to see your partner a bit jealous every now and then.

When it happens, you can just "defuse" their jealousy by teasing them playfully. For example, if your girlfriend calls a woman a bitch after the woman talks to you at a party, just say something like, "Nah. She's not a bitch. She just has good taste. And so do you." Then give her a kiss.

Problem solved.

But if your partner has a "chronic" jealousy problem, then you're in trouble.

Don’t forget that a person's jealousy usually comes from insecurity. This is why EVERYONE gets jealous every once in awhile...because nobody is perfect and we all do have our own insecurities.

So if your partner is VERY jealous ALL THE TIME, it's a sign they are very insecure...

And guess what?

Insecurity means low self-esteem, and low self-esteem means BAD CHARACTER.

If you're a student of the Smart Dating Course, then you should know what bad character means...

FIND ANOTHER PERSON!

I have said this a thousand times and I will say it again:

Remember that you cannot change a person's character.

“Take me as I am” is my motto when it comes to relationship. If you try to play therapist, it’s going to kill the relationship.

The other alternative, of course, is to learn to "tolerate" their jealousy. But let me warn you now: as time goes on, it will get harder and harder, and you'll probably be in for a very rough ride.

You have been warned!